LOVING PEOPLE YOU ARE STUCK WITH

By Pastor Biodun Olusanya, RCCG City of David, Beltsville, Maryland

Beloved, it takes a forgiving heart to love the people you are stuck with. There is a story of an 8 year old boy who presented a Christmas wish list to his parent and the priority on his list was a puppy. On Christmas Eve, he got a brown and white Chinese pug small enough to fit into his father’s hand, cute enough to steal his heart.

This little boy was very excited and he named her Liz. The only condition was that he’ll be Liz’s caretaker and was happy to oblige. He carried her all day. Her floppy ears fascinated him so much and her flat nose intrigued him. He even took the dog to bed. He didn’t mind the odor or the dog doing her business on his pillow. He felt everything about this puppy was cute. So he cleaned her little eating dish and opened her can of puppy food. The minute she drank up some water, the young boy will replenish it. He kept her hair combed and her tail wagging. However within few weeks the feeling of the boy changed a bit about the puppy. Sooner than later this little boy grew weary with the barking of the dog and felt the dog seemed hungry an awful lot. But his parents kept reminding him that he asked for a puppy and that Liz was his dog in sickness and in health, in dryness and in wetness! It was then it occurred to this little boy that HE WAS STUCK WITH LIZ! The courtship was over and the honeymoon had ended! Liz went from an option to an obligation; from being a pet to being a task and a responsibility. Liz had gone from being someone to play with to someone to be cared for! The boy began to ask himself some tough questions such as ‘can I tolerate the same flat-nose, hairy, hungry face EVERY morning? ‘I am going to be barked at until the day I die?

I’d like to believe that we can all relate to this. We all know the claustrophobia that comes with commitment. Instead of being reminded that she is your dog you are told – ‘she is your wife’ or ‘He is your husband’ or ‘He is your child, your dad, your mum, your employee, your boss or your roommate’ or any other relationship that requires loyalty for survival! Such permanence can lead to panic and sometimes high blood pressure especially when one has to answer some tough questions such as ‘Can I tolerate the flat-nosed, hairy, hungry face EVERY morning? or “Will I continue to be nagged at every day of my life until I die? (Husbands can connect to what I am talking about.

Beloved, those are the questions we ask when we feel stuck with someone. Our Lord Jesus Christ knew the feeling to be stuck with someone. For over three years, He ran with the same crew. By and large, He saw the same dozen faces around the table, around campfire, around the clock. They rode on the same boat and walked the same road and visited the same houses and I can’t help but wonder, how did Jesus stay so devoted to his men? Not only did he have to put up with their visible shortcomings, he also had to endure their invisible foible. He could hear their unspoken thoughts. He knew their private doubts. Not only that, he knew their future doubts as well. What if you knew every mistake your loved ones has ever made and every mistake they would ever make? What if you knew every thought they would have about you, every irritation, every dislike, and every betrayer? Brethren, it was not had had for Jesus to love Peter knowing fully well that Peter would someday curse and deny him! It was not tough for Jesus to trust Thomas knowing one day Thomas would question His resurrection. How did Jesus resist the urge of recruiting a new batch of followers? How was Jesus able to love people who were hard to like?

HOW THEN DO WE LOVE THE PEOPLE WE ARE STUCK WITH?

Bible reference: John 13:1-17

How do we love the people we are stuck with? Beloved, I believe the answer is in John Chapter 13:1-17 when Jesus took the position of the lowest servant and washed the feet of his disciples including the one he knew would deny him three times, the one that would doubt his resurrection, as well and the one who would betray him for thirty pieces of silver! The bible tells us that Jesus LOVED THEM TILL THE END!

“Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end”.

Beloved, in those days, washing of the feet was a task reserved not just for the servants, but for the lowest of servants. The servant at the bottom of the totem pole was expected to be the one on his kneels with the towel and the basin. But in this case the one with the towel and the basin is the King of the Kings and the King of the universe! It was the hands that shaped the stars and the noon now wash away filthiness! We saw the fingers that formed the mountains, the hills and the valleys now kneeling down before his own creations to massage their toes and cleanse away filthiness! We saw the one before whom all nations, races, color, and creed will one day kneel and bow kneeling before the disciples!

Brethren, just hours before his own death Jesus’ concern was singular. He wanted his disciples to know how much he loved them and more than removing their dirt Jesus is removing their doubt. Jesus knew what would happen to his hands at crucifixion. He knew that within 24 hours the hand will be pierced and lifeless yet He was willing to touch the dirtiest parts of those people He knew they would let Him down in a few hours. How must He have felt as He knelt in front of Judas and washed the feet of His betrayer or as He washed the feet of Peter who would deny Him not once but three times? He didn’t chastise them. He wasn’t angry with them. He took on the role of the lowest servant of the household and He washed their feet! He knew that they wouldn’t understand the action…just yet. He knew that He was not to see the fruit of His action. John 13:7 “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later”. He forgave their sin before they even committed it! He offered mercy even before they sought it! He washed their feet! Because Jesus has forgiven us, we too can forgive others. Because he has a forgiving heart, we too can have a forgiving heart. We can have a heart like His.

John 13:14-15 “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them”

Brethren, Jesus wash our feet for two reasons. First is to give us mercy; and the second is to give us a message and that message is simply this: JESUS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL GRACE AND SO ALSO SHOULD WE!!! Just as the mercy of Christ preceded our mistakes; our mercy must precede the mistakes of others. Those in the circle of Jesus Christ had no doubt of his love; those in our circles should have no doubts about our love towards them.

He took on the role of the lowest servant in the household and washed their feet. Can I say that it takes a Christian who is walking in the Spirit to want to bless people who are hurting him/her? It takes the Christian walking in the Spirit to rejoice in another Christian’s success. It takes a Christian walking in the Spirit to forgive when the other person probably won’t ever understand or appreciate it. It seems impossible in some of our situations to even contemplate acting in such a way. We may feel stuck in our relationship. Stuck in our job. Stuck in our church. Stuck with our friends. Stuck with our minister. Stuck with our congregation. We may even say “Hey! Hang on a moment. I’m the innocent party here!” Well so was Jesus. Yet He knelt and washed their feet!

Generally, the way of the world today is to run or fight at the first sign of trouble and we live in the world. But you know, we are not of the world and, through the Spirit’s help, we can live the example Jesus gave. We can forgive and not only that we can bless those who hurt us. Brethren, the hurt could be so deep and the wounds could be so numerous. The secret of being like Jesus is to fix our eyes on Him. Try shifting your glance away from the one who hurt you and setting your eyes on the one who has saved you.

Aside from Geography and chronology, our story is the same as the disciples. We were not in Jerusalem and were not alive that night. But what Jesus did for His disciples he has done for you. He cleaned you and cleansed your hearts from sin. Our Savior kneels and gazes upon the darkest acts of your lives. But rather than recoil in horror, He reaches out in kindness and says “I can clean you if you want” and from the basin of His grace, he scoops a palm full of mercy and washes away our sin!

There is a story of a husband and a wife who were weathering a storm in their marriage and through series of events, the wife learn of the husband’s act of infidelity and you can imagine, she was deeply hurt; and through the advice of a counselor, the couple dropped everything and went away for several days. A decision had to be made. Would she flee, would she stay to fight or would she stay to forgive? And during their trip; they prayed; they talked and they reflected on the good old days. In this case the wife was clearly in the right. She could have left. Women have done so for lesser reasons. Or she could have stayed and make his life a living hell and miserable. Other women have done that also. But she chose a different response.

On the tenth night of their trip, the man found a card on his pillow. On the card was a printed verse “I’d rather do nothing with you than something without you” Beneath the verse she had written these words: I forgive you! I love you. Let’s move on.

The card might as well been a basin. And the pen might as well have been a pitcher, for out of it poured pure mercy, and with it she washed her husband’s feet.

Brethren, certain conflicts can be resolved only with a basin of water. For someone reading this your bowl of water and towel may be a card, a letter, a phone call, a visit, a cuddle or a hug. Are there any sitting around your table, around your house and around your neighborhood who need to be assured of your grace? Jesus made sure his disciples had no reason to doubt his love; why don’t you do the same today and as you do heaven too will have mercy and compassion upon you in Jesus name. You see, there are some situations that only humility can heal. There are situations that only compassion can heal. Do we flee in life? Do we fight in life? Are we willing to forgive? Let us pray…

PRAYER

Father Lord, give me a heart that forgives! Help me to forgive others as you have forgiven me! Help me to show mercy, compassion, and grace to others the way you have shown them to me!!! I forgive all those who have hurt and disappointed me!

The Lord gave the word; great is the company of those that published it (Psalm 68:11).