THE CHRISTIAN HOME

By Pastor James Fadele

Song: Be lifted high! Be lifted high! O Lord be lifted high! For you are holy, righteous and worthy! O Lord be lifted high!

John 2:1-11 The wedding in Cana where the wine ran out and Jesus turned water to wine.

The divorce rate in the Christendom is more rampant than among the Atheists! We cannot do much great work if our homes are in disarray.

Proverbs 30:21-23 For three things the earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear: For a servant when he reigneth; and a fool when he is filled with meat; For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress.

There are four things that the earth CANNOT tolerate:

– A slave becoming a ruler

– A fool filled with plenty of money but can’t be controlled

– An unloved woman (a woman who is married but no more romance, flowers, or “I love you”)

– A maid sleeping on the bed of the woman of the house

Genesis 21:10 Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.

Hagar (a maid) despised Sarah (her mistress) to the extent that Sarah asked Abraham to cast her out. The solution to the challenges in marriages IS NOT DIVORCE.

In John 2:1-11, at a marriage in Cana of Galilee when the wine ran out, “JESUS” was called upon (not the officiating ministers or anyone else). Beloved, THEY CALLED UPON “JESUS” when the wine ran out!!!

The mother of Jesus gave them the following instructions: WHATSOEVER HE SAITH UNTO YOU TO DO, DO IT!!!

John 2:10 And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.

Every man at the beginning put forth good wine meaning that every man whether educated or illiterate is at his best behavior when he is courting his wife to be. He writes her love letters, buys her flowers, and so on. In other words, he puts forth his “good wine” at the beginning. Many women still hold on to the love letters they received during their courtship.

John 2:10b and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse:

When men are “drunk”, they put out the worse wine. At the beginning they are at their best behavior but when they are “drunk” (meaning) after a while into the marriage, they stop the flowers and the “I love you”!!! When “the wine runs out” they start snapping and overemphasizing her shortcomings which they overlooked at the beginning when they “put forth their best wine” and were at their best behavior!

Beloved, no man is exempted from this fact. Even if he has a PhD, the “wine” will run out at some point but DIVORCE IS NOT THE SOLUTION. Jesus was at this marriage in Cana of Galilee. Many say they don’t need Jesus because they have children but at some point the children will leave the home. A marriage without “JESUS” will be in chaos when the wine runs out. The mother of Jesus said “WHATSOEVER HE ASKS YOU TO DO, DO IT”
Good workers obey orders whether they understand it or not. The men at this wedding in Cana obeyed Jesus. SWEETNESS WILL COME TO YOUR MARRIAGE! Do not put confidence in “man”. Whether he has a good job or is highly educated, sooner or later the wine will run out.

John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Beloved, the answer is “LOVE”. The letters in the word “LOVE” stand for the following:

L – Listen to her
O – Overlook her faults
V – Value her
E – Express your love for her

LISTEN TO HER
Spend quality time with her. Learn to be patient with her. Allow her participation in decision-making. Though you are the head of the household, the intuition of women should not be ignored. Invite Jesus into your marriage.

OVERLOOK HER FAULTS
When you were courting your wife you didn’t see any faults. Talk to her lovingly. Your tone of voice matters. Be mindful of the way you address her. The extra weight she gained is due to the kids she had for “you”.

VALUE HER
Treat her like a queen and she’ll treat you like a king. Tell her she’s a “knock-out” or “a perfect ten”. Adorn her with gifts, compliment her, encourage her. Don’t correct her in front of the children.

EXPRESS YOUR LOVE TO HER
Offering unneeded advice is not welcome. Helping her around the house is one way to express your love to her. Tell her you honor and value her. Tell her she’s special. Use the following five love languages:

THE FIVE (5) LOVE LANGUAGES

Quality Time (some women do not care for flowers)

Words of Affirmation (a simple “thank you” goes a long way)

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

Receiving Gifts (it’s the thought that counts)

TO THE WOMEN

Sex: The number one thing men want is “SEX”. It’s the way God created them. Give it to them before they ask for it.
Appearance: Dress nicely even though you already got him. Do not parade your home with everything hanging and hair looking all bad. When the kids are not home, wear sexy lingeries. Make your husband drool 

1 Peter 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

The verse in 1st Peter 3:3 does not mean you should not adorn yourself with plaiting your hair and gold and nice clothes. It means do not let it be the only thing you adorn yourself with. You must be beautiful inside and out. Dress to “kill”. Let your husband come home and say “WOW”!!! If you do not, he may start dreaming about his secretary in his office who dresses to “kill”. Look nice because men are stimulated by appearance. Ask for his credit card if you don’t have the money 

Men’s Ego: Every man has an ego. He may already be bruised and battered at work. He does not need that from his wife. Welcome him with a hug and/or a kiss. Cater to his needs. Tell him he is handsome (even if he is not). The way you approach him and your attitude matter. There’s a saying that your attitude determines your altitude.
Strength & Honor: Christ is the head of the church. Your husband is the head of your home.
At the wedding in Cana of Galilee, when they ran out of wine, THEY CALLED JESUS and he gave them more wine. In many homes, the wine has run out but there is a God who can restore that happiness. CALL HIM INTO YOUR HOME. He will heal your home. Let us pray…

PRAYER

Master Jesus, you are the owner of the wine. The wine in my marriage is running out. HELP ME. The way I’m treating my spouse is not the way Christ treats the church. Restore the wine in my marriage. Jesus please heal my heart. I’ve been disappointed but you are the healer. I want to be the right spouse. Help me to overlook the faults of my spouse. Help me to respect and honor my spouse. Give me the grace to dress myself nicely. Help me with my attitude. Help me to respond to my spouse with courtesy. Build my home. Stop every plan of the enemy over my home and family. I receive healing for my home.
If you are reading this and you have not accepted Jesus as your Lord and personal prayer and would like to do so, say this short prayer:

Lord Jesus, I believe you died for my sins and rose again. I accept you as my Lord and Savior. Come into my life and make me whole. I want to serve you from this day forward.

The Lord gave the word; great is the company of those that published it (Psalm 68:11)